sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize