the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
