I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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