did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
