Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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