Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
