Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
