Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
