i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
