That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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