I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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