Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
