yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
