ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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