Heybabeimwearingurpanties
they need to just BURY HIM!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
