I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
