Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
