Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
