i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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