Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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