shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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