omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
