It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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