you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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