she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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