He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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