We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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