I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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