Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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