I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
