I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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