I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
being pregnant is like rehab
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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