i love accidental penises.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
