I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
