We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
