Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
