WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
