So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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