the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
