just tell him i said nine months
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
