Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
