So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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