Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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