I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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