Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
