Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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