on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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