It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He shit in the fireplace
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
