So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Randomize
