Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize