I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A+ Viking dick
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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