Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
