it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
