So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
