Dual....:-)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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