Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
