i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
