I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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