We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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