i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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