You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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