Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
