Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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